So, you know how some things in life are guaranteed? No, me either. There is one thing that’s happening for deffo though …….

I know you know. I know you’ve always known.

Everyone is going to die.

Most of us can accept this. None of us like it, but acceptance is different, right? What many of us find harder to accept is that the ‘everyone’ we’re talking about actually in fact also includes US. That’s me. And it’s also you too, unfortunately.

There are cures for many things. But death is not one of them. There are treatments for lots of ailments. But treatments (whilst fantastic and appreciated) prolong life, they do not stop death. Nonetheless we self-medicate with a prescription of doing-our-best-to-look-after-ourselves and mainly Just. Not. Thinking. About It.

I get it. And I appreciate that not everyone’s like me (really actually completely fascinated about finding out as much as I can about death) but the amount of avoidance of talking about death frightens me more than the prospect of death itself. Here’s why…….

A recent study asked people who had organised a funeral in the last 5 years what their most important consideration had been. Coming out top, a whopping 65% of respondents said, ‘Following the wishes of a loved one’. That’s reassuring, isn’t it? The majority of people will honour your wishes, even when you’re not looking. Nice. But …… (you know what’s coming, don’t you?) if we don’t talk about our wishes – or hear the wishes of those we’re closest to – how can we even begin to honour them?

I want to start a tiny revolution. I believe that sharing our funeral wishes* with those closest to us is the ultimate act of love. I also believe that honouring those wishes for another is an act of love you can give in return.

It doesn’t have to be a big deal. In fact it’s dead simple really. All you need to do is have a little think about the things you do or don’t want to happen after you’ve died.

Most of us (however in denial we might be) have at least some idea of a song we might like to be played at our funeral. If you write that down, tell someone you’ve written it down and where the safe place you’ve left it is, then that’s writing your funeral wishes.

Most of us have a notion about whether we’d prefer to be buried or cremated. Write that down on the same piece of paper. And on it goes – as detailed or as brief as you like.

From “I don’t care what else happens, just do not let my cousin Jamie hijack the whole thing by taking over and making it all about them!” to 5,000 words detailing readings you’d like, your preferred dress code for mourners and what canapes you want serving at the wake. Guess which one’s most reflective of mine? Yep.

*not the same thing as buying a pre-paid funeral plan – that’s a slightly different conversation.

If you’d like to know more about how you can take control over your funeral wishes - from accessing a funeral wishes template to support with the creation of a living eulogy – come along to one of my Tomb Talks or send me a message.